First let me say that Siobhan is an excellent cook--a veritable master at gleaning bits and pieces from different recipes, and combining them for truly mouth-watering dishes. She works side-by-side with me in the kitchen daily, sharing tasks and chatting all the while. That being said, Siobhan has the heart and soul of a vegetarian--but one that is still in the closet and still in denial...
Let me say that we have never eaten our own chickens (ours do tricks and play pianos--remember?!) I heartily agree with Siobhan on that... And I don't mind that ALL the meat that we consume comes straight from a store. But in our house,even that isn't enough. With Siobhan, our meat can't even remotely resemble the animal it came from. And that's where it get's tricky...
No Cornish hens, no duck, no quail. No whole chickens for us! Not even wings or drumsticks-- only boneless skinless chicken breasts are allowed. Our only poultry exception is a turkey at Thanksgiving--and Liam has to de-bone and carve it outdoors, so that it reaches the table as nothing more than a platter of meat. Well, he doesn't exactly Have To take the turkey outside...but believe me, it's a whole lot easier if he does!
We don't fare much better with beef. Granted, a roast doesn't resemble any family pets, but there is still blood and fat and bone involved. Whenever I can, I try to spare her from the gory parts...and poor Siobhan soldiers on. But sometimes I forget...
Such was the case with Christmas Eve dinner this year. As I was hobbling around the house with a gamey leg, Siobhan offered to prepare and cook the Beef Wellington. I was to advise from the sidelines, with a wine glass in hand and my foot on a pillow. Sounds nice, doesn't it? Too bad it never happened...
Instead, I watched Siobhan open the refrigerator door, remove a vacuum-packed 3 1/2 lb beef tenderloin and plop it onto a cutting board by the sink. So far, so good. Then she said "Oh, Mum...there's an awful lot of blood on this!" followed by "I feel dizzy--I think I'd better lie down..." and she sank to the floor.
Trying hard not to laugh, I said "Come on, Siobhan...I'm pretty sure meat can't make you dizzy. Roll over and face the other room, and I'll open the package and rinse it off. And trim the fat off. You can jump in and take over whenever you feel up to it!""
I heard a faint mumble from the floor..."I can slap on the mustard and mushrooms, as long as I don't have to touch that thing. And I can help with the phyllo if you'll do that other meat ( prosciutto)." So that is how we made our holiday dinner today-- Siobhan and I taking turns, alternating with me hobbling around the kitchen, Siobhan prostrate on the floor, and Liam quietly chuckling from the sidelines.
As usual, our family is a Freak Show--but we live in a House of Laughter...and I think that's Grand!
Happy Christmas Eve!
--Grainne
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