Christmas Day at last !
Good tidings of great cheer...
That rotten Elf can vanish
for another whole year...
Hallelujah!
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
One day before Christmas,
and what do you think?
We found Elf drunk
by the kitchen sink...
Two days before Christmas,
pretty as you please...
Elf dropped his knickers
below his knobby knees!
Three days until Christmas,
great--another chore!
Cleaning Elf's snow angels
off the kitchen floor...
Four days before Christmas,
bring me a beer--
I just found Elf swinging
from a chandelier...
Five days before Christmas,
I feel a little Stress...
Why is Elf wearing
Barbie's favorite dress?
Six days before Christmas,
just for fun,
Elf shot out our Christmas lights
with the Nut Cracker's gun...
Seven days before Christmas,
in horror and dread,
we found Elf smoking
in in his tissue box bed...
Eight days before Christmas--
not sooner or later--
Elf rolled our house
with toilet paper...
Nine days before Christmas,
our patience wears thin--
Elf gave us moustaches
with a permanent pen...
Ten days before Christmas,
you'll never guess!
We caught Elf looking
up a fox's dress...
(the little pervert!)
Eleven days before Christmas,
by one hand and one knee
that crazy Elf dangled
from our Christmas tree...
(and broke three balls!
Twelve days before Christmas,
I looked near and far--
and finally found Elf
in the Biscuit Jar...
Thirteen days before Christmas,
my heart in my throat,
I found Elf bathing
in our best gravy boat...
"Tis a fortnight before Christmas...
Siobhan and myself
and all our critters are sleeping--
but not our Shelf Elf..."
And then the trouble begins...
